Friday, 27 September 2013

Outfit Of The Day: Gothic Anime Girl!

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
-Dr Seuss 
Grey top and skirt: Op shop (Supre brand)
Black top: Glassons
Vertical black/white tights and gloves: Sinister Boutique
Fishnet stockings and suspenders: Bras N Things
Goth boots and belt: Op shop 
Scarf/bandanna: Canteen
Cat ears: $2 shop
Glasses: 3D movie glasses with lenses taken out
Strawberry Shortcake bag: Random shop

Make up: Created with the Models Prefer Very Sexy Colour Palette

Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo

Monday, 23 September 2013

The Self Love Playlist: Unleash Your Girl Power!


  1. Hilary Duff: I Am
  2. Selena Gomez and The Scene: Who Says
  3. Vanessa Hudgens: Never Underestimate A Girl
  4. Keri Hilson: Pretty Girl Rock
  5. Skye Sweetnam: Just The Way I Am
  6. The Pussycat Dolls: I don't Need A Man
  7. Avril Lavigne: I Don't Have To Try
  8. Ricki-Lee: Can't Touch It
  9. Lady Gaga: Hair
  10. Beyonce: Run The World (Girls)
  11. Christina Aguilera: Show Me How You Burlesque
  12. Joanna Pacitti: Watch Me Shine
  13. Kelly Clarkson: I Do Not Hook Up
  14. Demi Lovato: This Is Me
  15. Ke$ha: Warrior
  16. Jessie J: Do It Like A Dude
  17. Ricki-Lee: Raining Diamonds

Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo

Friday, 20 September 2013

Outfit Of The Day: Eccentric Rainbow Brite!

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"
-Dr Seuss

Dress: Random little knick knack shop 
Tights and gloves: Sinister Boutique
Belt: Op shop
Shoes: Clearance shoe shop
Necklace: Equip or Diva
Bow headband: $2 shop
Make up: Created with the Manly 120 eyeshadow palette (can be bought on Trade me or Ebay)

Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

21 Ways To Become Stronger Than Your Eating Disorder!

  1. Meal support: Get someone to be there through your meals on the days you really feel like you can't or are having trouble eating or just need some support. This could be family, a friend or counsellor. Pick someone you trust and is supportive. Have them there just to make sure you do eat, are ok and to give you a nice big hug! After all who doesn't love a hug!
  2. Ask for help: I know you feel scared, ashamed or don't want to but you need to reach out and ask for help from people who can help you. Just one person won't help you in your journey but a few loving, supportive and caring people will, so please no matter how painful it is ask for that help that you know your needing.
  3. Be open and honest: With yourself and your support people no matter how scared or how much you don't want to. You need to!
  4. Have a support bear: Having your own little support bear that has meaning to you is a great way to get through those hard times. My bear was given to me by a friend when I was first trying to recover. It meant a lot to me to have true friends and that year I experienced so much and my bear represents fighting for life and love. His name is Mr Smiles and still sits with me through meals nearly 3 years later.
  5. Alternative medicine: Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT), Colour Therapy, Acupuncture, Aromatherapy, Crystal healing, Reiki etc. Search them up and try them out or see someone who specialises in them!
  6. Create vision/dream boards: Search the Internet, print pictures and get creating!
  7. Visualise your dreams while your eating: Visualise yourself doing and achieving your dreams and know that you are eating to reach those dreams and to be healthy.
  8. Sit in front of a mirror while eating: Tell the voices to fuck off and that your eating to be healthy and to live. I use to go and talk to a girl who had recovered during the height of my ED and this was something in her journey that helped her.
  9. Self Love: Yes it is time to start the love journey! Fall in love with you!
  10. Write positive messages on yourself: For every bad thought you have write a positive one on your body.
  11. Write love notes to yourself on your mirrors: Leave little post it notes or write in lipstick some love messages to yourself!
  12. Put your dreams/ happy posters on your walls: Happy messages, goals, good memories etc create a dream room fulled with love and happiness!
  13. Hate your ED: Declare war and know that your going to win!
  14. Talk: Family, friend, counsellor, Dr etc. Talk and open up, you need to deal with all your issues babe and learn to understand what's beneath it all so you can move onwards and upwards.
  15. Go out and live: You know the one go have healthy fun! Go to the movies, ten bowling, stalk hot guys (in a non creepy way!), play card and board games, go to the beach and build sand castles, go to a play ground etc. Life is for living!
  16. Mediation, chanting and yoga: Find your inner peace and heal the mind as well as the body, breathe in positivity and exhale negativity.
  17. Brighten someones day: Give a gift, send a nice message, do something anonymously! One of the greatest gifts in life is making someone smile.
  18. Writing/poetry: This is such a fabulous way to express yourself! Write a letter to yourself as a child or something you need to get off your chest, goals and dreams etc. I love to write in general but poetry/songs I find help me a lot to express myself in a creative way what I'm feeling.
  19. Dance, laugh and smile: Crank up that music and do a twirl, watch funny and inspiring youtube videos, play truth or dare, run down hills, pick flowers etc. Smile that beautiful smile and what is life without laughter!
  20. Scream: Angry screams, girly screams, metal screaming whatever kind just scream and get that hate out. I tried to learn metal screaming during my recovery and it felt like I was screaming the demons out of my head however I then I started to lose my voice :p.
  21. Wish upon a rose quartz stone: Rose quartz are a stone of love and can be used to attract all kinds of love including self love. Some ways to use a rose quartz stone are by sleeping with it under your pillow, meditating and putting you energy and goals into it, you can also put it under the moon light or in a water container and drink the water. You can have one around your room to create/attract love and peace. Rose quartz are pretty cheap and are often designed in a shape of a heart. I have one sitting on my dressing table with some lucky coins and notes under it :) 

Recovery is something you work on everyday and once you are at a healthy weight and mindset getting into fitness and muscle building is a great way to continue to fight an eating disorder this may not work for everyone though.

If it is something you are interested in and are at a good point in your recovery I would suggest getting the ok from your Dr to start exercising. You will also need a good support team which might include a Dr, counsellor and a personal trainer that you check in regularly with and are open/honest. Also think about what you want to achieve with your fitness journey such as getting stronger, gaining muscle or being fit and healthy.

Some other posts you may like to check out are:

Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo

Monday, 16 September 2013

What Is Self Love?


What is Self Love?

Self love is making yourself your own best friend which includes looking after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. It is about learning to accept ,respect, forgive and be open and honest with all of who you are.

If you don't like who you are sometimes you start to search for approval in others such as relationships, friends or family which is not only unhealthy but can be dangerous and lead to disaster, not being who you truly are and more self hatred. It starts with you and continues with you! You are the only one that can work on yourself to truly love and accept who you are, others can be there to support you but it is your journey walk through.

Listen to your body and ask yourself what do I truly need right now? Your body is your temple, you only have one so treat it right and give it what it needs! Self love includes but is not limited to:
  • Giving your body nutritious foods and the right amounts
  • Exercising sensibly
  • Positive self talk/love letters/love notes to yourself
  • Positive body talk
  • Asking for help
  • Hobbies
  • Relaxing
  • Goal setting
  • Being fearless
  • Being real, open & honest (with yourself and others) 
  • Self respect/morals
  • Accepting/forgiving yourself and others
  • Treating others with love and respect
  • Knowing your strengths and weakness

How do I love myself?

Self Love is a daunting, scary and even a painful topic when you are in the mists of self loathing and are in a dark place but it is also an exciting, challenging and hopeful topic filled with excitement, opportunities and freedom. Self love doesn't happen over night nor in a week, just as recovery is a journey so is self love and should be practised daily.

The first part in learning to love yourself is dealing with all the hate. This is huge and is going to take some time. I suggest writing down everything you hate about yourself and ripping it up, confronting people you need to, writing a letter to yourself as a child, chucking out clothes etc. A great one that worked for me was Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Really start to question/dig down to what's causing the hate and start finding healthy ways to deal with it/move past it. 

Letting go/moving past the hate is a time when you neither hate nor love yourself, this is a good time to start on some activities in learning to love and accept yourself. Now you may have seen me mention Gala Darling a few times this is because she is the Queen of self love and started The Radical Self Love Project which according to Gala is "self love/esteem wrapped up in a sexy bow". Gala has written and created some great articles and lists which have some wonderful ideas including the ones I mentioned for getting past the hate and also actives on learning to love yourself such as writing down what you love about yourself, any compliments you get and gratitude lists etc. Her lists and The Radical Self Love project are amaze balls and is definitely a go to guide on letting go of hate and learning how to love yourself.

Everyone is different and some activities may or may not help you in your journey so experiment and find what works for you. Ask yourself what are some healthy things/activities that are going to help me let go/move on from self hate? What are some healthy things/activities that are going to help me to learn to love myself? Don't know where to start...Gala's website is a perfect place to begin your journey! Here are some of my favourite articles by Gala!

My journey through Self Love

I remember my counsellors saying something about being able to love myself and I was sitting there thinking "WHAT THE F**K I'm never going to like who I am. I HATE MYSELF SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I was stuck in a world full of self hate one that I had been in for about 9 years and didn't understand how I was ever going to like who I was. I never really knew or understood what self love was I just thought is was some hocus pocus bullsh!t.

Two months into my recovery I was ready to give up I felt horrible and hated life. Around that time on a TV show there was an interview on Gala Darling. I had seen the shorts of it and thought "YAY someone who is different like me!". I watched the interview with my parents as she talked about blogging, fashion and The Radical Self Love Project. I knew from watching that she had gone through something painful to have started The Radical Self Love Project and to be the way she was, it then said she suffered with Anorexia for 5 years. I burst into tears. For so long I knew I was different and hated it. I then found my style, it made me feel beautiful and I started to like the fact I was different. People had pointed out I was different and tried to tell me it wasn't who I was, shy people don't dress like I do etc. It would make me angry that they didn't accept me for who I was and were trying to tell me who I should be.

Here was Gala though who was different and had gone through an Eating Disorder too. She had found a way out of it, loving who she was to the fullest, expressing herself in every way possible and now spreading that philosophy to others. It was an epiphany to me and gave me hope. I checked out her website and started reading her self love articles. Self love was exactly what I needed and her website had the resources to continue my recovery and start my journey of self love. 

One her homework assignments was to write down what you liked about yourself. My hair and my style were the only two things that ever made me feel beautiful but other than that I hated myself. After reading her article on Emotional Freedom Technique I tried the same thing she had done. I wrote down everything I hated about myself, locked myself in the bathroom naked and taped on each point replacing it with a positive one and told myself I deeply and completely love, forgive and accept myself. After hating myself and my body for so long I think finally telling myself even though I didn't like... about myself but I deeply and completely loved, forgave and accepted myself was what I needed to hear and tell myself. After doing EFT the voices and body dysmorphia have never been as bad. I still have lots of ups and downs with this but never to the degree it was.

A few weeks later I decide to sit down by myself and really think about what I loved about myself... I did like my eyes. They're like a bluey green and sometimes one colour is stronger than the other... they are pretty cool! I started to think some more... at that point in my recovery other than my eyes, hair and fashion style physical features were still something I was really struggling with and wasn't ready to heal and love. I started looking at my personality and morals I wrote:
  • I'm a nice person
  • I'm straight up
  • I'm hard working
  • I do my best
  • I fight for what I believe in
  • I care about other people
  • I'm creative
  • I'm bubbly
  • I'm funny
  • I love doing nice things for people 

Especially when you have struggled with an ED physical features are the hardest part of yourself to learn to love/accept so writing what you love about your personality and morals is a great way to start! Loving yourself works both inside and outside and I think it is really important to look at your morals and personality and really question different parts of yourself and ask is this healthy? Is there something I can change to make myself a better person? How am I going to do this? What do I want to stand for/what is my message to the world?

After looking and writing down what I loved about myself my self love affair continued I did my own meditating, took myself out on dates, wrote gratitude lists, bought a pink dress (I use to hate pink and dresses! Now I love them :D) and really started doing and enjoying the activities on Gala's lists.

Today I continue with doing activities on Gala's lists regularly as well as having gotten into training and eating clean to build a strong body and keeping myself healthy. I also continue to work on my strengths and weakness. It it so important to know what your strengths and weakness are so you know what you are good at and how to use them but also where you need to improve and grow. Don't be afraid to fail and make mistakes because that is where you grow and learn the most. Everybody has strengths and weakness as well as their own unique talents which are beautiful additions to this world! If you truly believe in your talents they have the power to light up the universe. 

Some of my strengths include my positivity, determination, hard work and standing up for being different which I all embrace to the fullest and continue to grow stronger in my daily life. Some of my weakness include struggling with my confidence and being comfortable around people because of fear of rejection. Also being extremely attached to my clothes which helps me/is positive in a lot of ways like helping me be confident, expressing myself to the fullest and embracing being different but the thought of being without them makes me feel like I can't be me. I want to get to the point where just knowing with or without my clothes I am/can be me. I share my strengths and weakness openly and freely because I accept that they are a part of me and I continue to break down barriers and work on them. Self Love is something I practise on a daily basis because it keeps my body and mind healthy, it is vitally important in maintaining my recovery, growing and changing as an individual.

A lot of things have helped me in my self love journey so here are my top 5 tips on how to start your self love journey!

My Top 5 Tips To Start Your Self Love Journey!

  1. Deal with the hate: No matter how painful and hard it is work through your issues and find healthy ways to let go/move past them.
  2. Start the loving: Do it, you know you want to! Come on write something you love about yourself down... Start searching out and doing activities that will kick this love affair into a life long romance!
  3. Baby steps: Self love is a big scary topic so start small if it is daunting to you but keep going and build it up each day. You might simply start with I like my eyes or nose whatever it is write it down and tell yourself often! Then start looking at other parts of yourself you like and writing them down. Also start picking some activities to try out and work through!
  4. Be fearless: Self love is scary but facing that fear is going to bring some major change your going to love!
  5. Practise daily: To keep the mind, body and spirit healthy practise self love daily. Speak kindly to yourself and do activities and acts of self love as often as possible.You'll progress day by day from once hating yourself to being and maintaining crazy love with all of who you are!
Here are some posts I've written related to Self Love feel free to check them out!

Self love is such an important part of life to love who you are freely and knowing that who you are is beautiful and enough. It is vital when you have gone through traumatic events or illnesses as healing and looking after the body as a whole makes you strong and healthy all over. So get up and grab a piece of paper, get writing and start the LOVING today! (By the way it does include that type of self loving too wink wink :p)

Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo

Friday, 13 September 2013

Outfit Of The Day: Rock 'N' Roll Pink Minnie Mouse!

Define yourself! Don't let the world define you!
Dress: Dotti
Jacket: Pagani
Tights: The Warehouse
Gloves: Random shop
Goth boots and belt: Op shop
Minnie mouse ears: $2 shop
Spike collar and bracelets: Given to me
Make up: Created with the Manly 120 eyeshadow palette (can be bought on Trade me or Ebay) and Models Prefer Very Sexy Colour Palette

Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo

Monday, 9 September 2013

How To Get Through Anorexia Recovery!

Well done on making the decision to chose recovery! This a huge and hard step to make!

Recovery is a long, hard and scary road, one which you need a lot of support in and most of all you have to want it for yourself. This journey is going to come with many obstacles which you are going to have to go around, under or over. Going through a recovery you have to confront everything that has gotten you to this point which is often very painful but it teaches you acceptance and forgiveness. It's also a journey of self discovery, learning to fight, becoming stronger, becoming thankful and grateful for each thing you have learnt and have gone through. Recovery doesn't happen over night nor is it easy, I believe it is a life long process, learning and growing from each new road block, experience and taking it one day at a time but most of all your recovery is possible!

Through my first 6 months of my journey (weight gain phase) I discovered self love, got my first tattoo and more as celebrations, bought my first pink dress, legally changed my name and realised how truly amazing my parents were and still are to this day. Don't get me wrong that 6 months to reach my goal weight was the hardest of my life and I struggled with the weight gain, hating food, self harm, water loading, not seeing the need to get out of my pj's and get dressed, hating my counsellors, clothes nearly not fitting and hating a lot of days. I would also countdown the days till the end of the month knowing each day I was one step closer to my goals/dreams.

Once I reached my goal weight I left home and moved cities, started flatting, went vegetarian, joined a gym and started on my muscle building journey. These where things I had dreamt about for so long and never thought were possible until one day I made a promise to myself to fight for them. That promise was so powerful and something that stays very close to my heart.

Today I'm currently continuing with my muscle building journey which has it's own ups and downs but helps continue to fight my Anorexia. I completed a personal training course and I'm on the journey to become a team training instructor. I also started this blog to help people. All these things I have mentioned have been little pieces of magic coming together creating the light at the end of the tunnel which was once a very dark one with a tiny speck of light.

There have been many things that I have learnt and have helped me through my recovery so here are my tips to get through Anorexia Recovery!

*This is mainly for the weight gain phase of recovery but of course a lot of this crosses over to continued recovery and times of struggling.

My Tips To Get Through Anorexia Recovery!

  1. Finding something to fight for: Some questions to ask yourself are? What are my dreams? What am I passionate about? What do I enjoy doing? What am I good at? What do I wish I could be or do? Dream wildly, fiercely and bravely. Write it down, create a vision board, put pictures around your room and on your mirror. Embrace it and feel it.
  2. Food: Depending if your in/on a programme having someone taking control of your food might be helpful. I was on the Maudsley program which I personally hated but the one thing I found helpful was that my parents took full control of my food. This stopped part of the war in my head and other ED behaviours. To eat the amount of food I had to, to get to my goal weight was something I couldn't do by myself. I was made to eat whatever my parents put in front of me. My parents knew there were certain foods I wouldn't eat so they wouldn't put them in front of me or make me eat them but they did put foods in front of me which they knew I was scared of and hated. Anorexia doesn't trust anyone but if there is someone who you truly love and trust that has your best interests at heart please consider having someone take control of your food. It is a very hard decision to make and the voices will scream very loudly at you for doing this but it may be something that will help save your life. Would someone taking control of my food help me to get better? Is there someone I love and trust who would be able to do this for me?
  3. Visualise: Whatever your dreams/goals are visualise yourself doing/achieving them when you eat, feel gross or are just hating life. This helps you to realise that you are eating and fighting for recovery for a reason to achieve those dreams/goals! Your dreams are possible but your ED is a big monster standing in the way so put a middle finger in the air and say fuck you and fight for those dreams! Getting healthy and being in a positive mindset is all part of the journey to achieving your dreams. Would this help me? When would I need to visualise my dreams?
  4. Support: You are truly the only one that can eat meals, fight through all the voices and be the one fighting/wanting recovery but support plays a huge part in getting better! There are going to be a lot of times when you need support from others. This group of people doesn't have to be big but they need to be people you trust and can help you. This can include family, counsellors, Dr's and friends. Who are my support people? What are some situations when I might need them?
  5. Take time for you: This is your recovery and your time to focus on fighting your demons. I would suggest simplifying your life as much as possible during this time to concentrate on recovery. You might need to take time off work, school or study to recover or do these things part time. It is hard enough to recover let alone having a million and one other things to deal with at the same time. How can I simplify my life to focus on my recovery?
  6. Push yourself: There is a point with an ED where you just keep going round in circles, you feel so trapped and you have to say FUCK THIS! This is when you have to force yourself to eat that meal, push through the fear, push through feeling fat and fight! You may need to cry, scream, lash out and ask for help to break the cycle. It is going to take all you have but it is worth it and so many magical things will come from getting through this! Are there certain weight goals I'm going to have to push myself past? Are there certain foods I'm going to have to push myself to eat? How am I going to do this?
  7. Distract yourself after meal times: Find things that help to distract yourself from any habits, behaviours and thoughts that will hinder your recovery. Now this is easier said than done when the voices are screaming at you but finding some positive coping mechanisms will help you through! Activities could include music, writing, painting, TV, Internet, meditation, reading, talking, creating dream/inspiration boards etc. Something I would do was listen to music, dream and sleep. I could drift into another world of happiness that I created and not have to think or feel anything to do with my ED. What are my hobbies? What might be some positive activities to help distract me?
  8. Ask for help: There are times when your ED becomes so loud and unbearable and you want to give into it's voices but I'm urging you NOT to! There may also be times when you give into those urges. This is bound to happen at some point during recovery but don't let it discourage you instead let it be a learning curve. When you ask for help be open and honest! You may not want to, feel guilty or ashamed but these are the times when you need help the most. Whether its a family member, a friend, counsellor, Dr or even a stranger do it. This is what is going to help you break some of your habits and behaviours. You might be needing someone to talk to, needing someone to support you through a meal or just need a hug. Whatever and whoever ask! What might I need help with? Who would I ask?
  9. Rewards: Set little goals in your recovery whether it's every time I gain X amount of weight or I achieved this today, reward and celebrate it! You could go do an activity or go buy something. These little incentives keep you going. Some of my rewards have been tattoos, piercings, clothes, going and staying with family in a different city etc. What could my goals be? What could be my rewards for achieving them? 
  10. Facebook: This can go either way. Deleting/deactivating Facebook is rewarding to be able to shut away from the world and take the time you need to focus on yourself. Facebook can become very triggering seeing pictures of yourself, wanting to write cry for help statuses, posting pictures, useless drama, seeing other peoples lives as perfect and judging other peoples bodies which in turn leads to judging yours. Facebook is NOT the place for any of this and I would suggest getting away from it if anything is causing triggers. There are lots of help and support groups on Facebook and you might also have family and friends in different places which are on your support team if you find they are helping you in a way your not getting else where then keep it as something to help you through. Does Facebook help or hinder me?
  11. Relationships: Unless you are in a healthy committed relationship I would suggest staying single through your main phase of recovery. This is because it easy to look for love and acceptance from others when what you truly need is being able to love and accept yourself. This can lead to not having healthy relationships and triggering relapses. Same goes for flirtations if something goes wrong it can start the "why me? I'm just not good enough! I'm ugly and gross" then... relapse! It is best to focus solely on yourself and when the right person and time comes along then take it as it comes. If you are in a healthy committed relationship cherish this person and know they want the best for you. When you are in a dark place you relate to other people going through similar things but theses people have there own issues and can sometimes not have your best interests at heart. These are not true friends and cutting these people out of your life are the best way to go. You truly learn who your friends are through recovery and it doesn't matter how many friends you have it is the quality of them ;) Surround yourself with loving, positive and supportive people! Am I in a relationship or have a flirtation going on with an unhealthy person? Do I have unhealthy friends? Who are the positive people in my life?
  12. Discover yourself: This is such an empowering part of recovery to truly learn to start accepting and letting go of things and learning to love who you are. You have to be willing to work on yourself through recovery and be willing to heal your wounds. Gala Darling's website helped me a lot and still does to this day. I heard about her 2 months into my recovery when I was extremely close to giving up. She started The Radical Self Love Project and writes about how to stop hating yourself, how to start loving yourself and writing a letter to yourself as a child etc. Her articles are so helpful in being able to discover who you are and being able to move forward in life. I highly recommend checking her website out! She is just fab and angel from heaven! Am I prepared to work on and heal myself? How am I going to do this? What are some things I like about myself? (Morals, personality, physical features) I simply started with I like my eyes.
  13. One day at a time: Take each day as it comes. Some days will be good and others bad but remember trouble doesn't last and everyday is brand new day to fight for your goals/dreams!

Recovery from an ED takes about 5-7 years and even after that you may still have the tail end of it with you. You may not understand your ED and you may not understand why you've gone through the things you have but trust me everything happens for a reason and so many beautiful things will come from this journey! YOU are stronger than you will ever imagine and YOU have the power to overcome this, believe in your dreams and believe in yourself. Smile because YOU are beautiful! :)

Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo

Friday, 6 September 2013

Outfit Of The Day: 7 Inch Goth Boot Cat Geek!

Dress and Belt: Op shop
Tights and Gloves: Sinister Boutique
7 Inch Goth Boots: Gnarley Goods
Cat Ears: $2 shop
Glasses: Movie glasses with lenses taken out
Spiked Collar: Given to me
Make up: Created with the Manly 120 eyeshadow palette can be bought on Trade me or Ebay and Models Prefer Very Sexy Colour Palette
Love from the land of magic
Rainbow :) xoxo